Well there are 35 days until our wedding and I still have things to do. I only got 3 little things for my bridal party, gift wise, I didn't get anything for my flower girls or ring bearers. We just booked the limo for the day of and just figured out where we are going for our formal pictures. I hadn't gotten my garter yet, though we aren't doing the garter toss because I know it will make me uncomfortable. But my mother in law to be got me one for my Bridal shower which upset my mom because she had been planning on getting it for me. So I told my mom to buy me one, that his mother won't know which one I wear...Knowing myself I'll probably where both.
My bridal shower was nice, if small. I'm a bit hurt...okay not a bit, very hurt that not many people came. But it was still a good time. My baby cousin came which took some of the attention off me which was nice because I was having some anxiety over it. And I got some nice presents and I was told I looked good even if I thought I looked fat. After my party though I was extremely tired I went to my old roommate's friends bachelorette party in the city and I'm so glad I did. It really was a great time.
My bachelorette party I recently found out is probably going to only be my bridal party and possibly 2 friends if they can seem to book a room. I found that out on the day the fiancé and I went to the venue to do final menu selection. We were in the car and my cousin text me about it. I immediately began crying. I definitely felt like the kid who had no one come to their birthday party. I've always known I don't have the closest girlfriends but it really hits you when it comes to occasions and instances like this. Automatically I felt the desire to cancel it all together out of sheer patheticness. My sister said we can still cancel but honestly I'm on the fence still. My cousin has the room booked already and I fell bad that my sister, his sister and my cousins have been going through all this trying to make it special for me and I don't want to hurt or offend them. But I don't know if my feelings are really even being considered. It is so not what I want for a Bachelorette party and I can guarantee that It wont be even close to what I want or enjoyable. I know I need to make a decision but one really isn't coming to me.
If I don't do it I know I'll regret it...but if I do it I know I won't really enjoy it...so there's that.
We finished both days of Pre-Cana so we just have to go back to the Deacon and give him all our paperwork.
I have mixed, cut and frozen 245 cookies already for the end of party favors. I just have to make and cut one final batch and then obviously bake and pack them.
We still have to get the photos to the DJ so he can put together the Video and I still want to put together the headbands for my girls for the theme photo I want to take.
All the papers are signed, all the loose ends tied up and as of this week I have officially become a first time Home Owner. We have officially bought his brother out and now we own the house outright.
I've been so pre occupied with the wedding and house stuff that I haven't had any time to worry or think about my upcoming 30th birthday. And between my new second job and my regular job, trips to the chiropractor, the occasional days/moments I get to workout and playing on a my bocce league it's left me with little time to do much of anything else besides sleep. Which I don't get much of anyway. And cry. Lately I've been crying a lot. And arguing with the fiancé. That's been happing a lot as well.
I'm not quite sure why. But the more we move towards the wedding the more frequent the fights get. We've already fought two days in a row this week...its possibly nerves, possibly stress, definitely exhaustion. We've been running pretty much non-stop. He has been working overtime and as many hours at his second job as he can get. I think we are both stretched a bit thin. I know I have piled on my plate probably more then I should but there is officially no going back now.
I'm just hoping that the days following get easier rather then harder...and that I can finally make up my mind about my bachelorette party...one way or the other...
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